Good Intentions (questionable follow through)

I'm going to be honest, I'm not sure if I'll be able to keep this blog up. It may very well fall by the wayside as previous blogs have. I'm going to try, though. Why? A few reasons.

1. I have a few Facebook friends who blog regularly about their family life and I think it's a great record to have, both for friends and family to use to keep up with our life, and to be able to look back on those memories in the future.

2. When I first found out something might be wrong with Eli, when I was about 34 weeks pregnant, all I did was search for articles and personal experiences of people who had been through something similar. If this helps even one desperate parent or parent to be, I'll feel like I did something worthwhile.

3. I think writing about this experience will be somewhat therapeutic for me. I have a tendency to overthink and obsess, and I can only text my best friend the same paragraphs so many times, as well as only being able to repeat the same sentiments to my husband so many times, before they tell me to get a grip. Where we are is a very emotionally challenging place to be, and anything that might help my mental state is something I'm willing to try.

So where are we, exactly? We don't know. We know there is something wrong with Eli. It's looking like it's something very serious, but it could turn out to be minor. Not knowing is the worst place to be. At this point we've spent about eight months with no answers, and we have more questions every day. We know it will be at least three more months before we find out anything new. It's torturous, to say the least. I'm planning on starting off with the month preceding Eli's birth and just sort of seeing where it takes me, and going from there.

Wish me luck.

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